I Feel It All

Expectations brings forth the rage inside me, it fires a feeling that I could not suffice, a hole that I must fulfill. There is this insurmountable duties that is ahead, chaining me. I must fulfill. I should fulfill. Perfection is a must. A lot of expectations is always upon me, haunting my insides, churning my being to the core. There are a lot of expectations that is expected before me, ahead of me. People judge, I judge, everybody does it. What if you fail? What if you could not fulfill it? There is only self hatred. Why should I exert this much effort if the future is so unknown. Why should I exert this much effort if there are loopholes that could not be predicted. Why should I exert this much effort if I am just an outlier. It is just too much for me to be always become pinned on. If I am always judged as being the same as that person and that person has this specific habit and character that burdens a lot of people. Why must I be judged and be compared as being the same as that person when I have my own life and I am not even doing those things that, that person does.  Excuse me, of course I may have their other pool of characteristics but I have my own paths and choices, why would they say I am the same. I am different. In the year 2016 some may have a lot of expectations of me. Yes I want you to all judge. Expect from me more. I want to expect from myself more. Bring it on. Yes, I want to do all of your expectations and even surpass those. Judge all you want. I do not even care. 2016 is a new year. Haters gonna hate. There is always a new path ahead. A challenge to be accepted, a change for the better, and this cliche word. Fighting!

xo, Alyssa

Photographer : Aimee Bustillo Capturing Life Memoirs



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